System Shock 2 Review by Nuisance

[6742fbf810ca7unn_atropos]

°review
Reviewer: Nuisance
Title: System Shock 2
Duration: 00:03:39
Language: English
Year: 2020
Topics: the perfect horror game, Resident Evil 2, Dead Space 2: heart attack simluator, horrible main character model, slow wrench swing, enemies are wildcards
Named Modifications: shown: °rebirth°tacticool°Seb's Doom Shotgun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm7VrNob250

See the full list of reviews here.

[6742fbf810e2bZylonBane]

That was painful to watch. The guy doesn't even start his "review" until almost halfway through the video.

[6742fbf8110cfvoodoo47]

painful to watch

looking at the uploader's name, you missed a great pun opportunity there.

[6742fbf811773sarge945]

You know a review is going to be "good quality" when the reviewer purports to review the entirety of an extremely complex and deep game in under 4 minutes.

And of course, he can't even do enough research or have enough original thoughts to actually articulate any point accurately.

Let's unpack this dumpster fire:

0:20 - Already off to a bad start with the horrendous mods. Obviously this is personal preference, but if you're going to review a game, you should do your best to either show it off in it's original form, or disclose the changes you have made. If I had seen that interface and that crowbar without having played (or heard of) the game before, it would absolutely lower my excitement for the game. Especially when the crowbar is very clearly ripped from Half-Life and the Shotgun from Doom 3. I get that he's doing that bit as a joke, but it's still pretty horrendous to do during a review of a game unless you're careful and make sure people know it's just being done for a thing.

Everything up to 1:40 is a total waste of time (as pointed out by ZB). Reading out the wikipedia facts for a game doesn't really give any useful information in a review. Nobody cares that it was made by Ken Levine. After wasting half the video talking about nonesense, he then wasted even more time with pointless facts about the game.

2:38 "Why does the main guy hit so slowly". Have you ever tried swinging a wrench around? And not your average run-of-the-mill cheap toolbox wrench, a proper industrial one? They are HEAVY. He seems to think it should be as fast as hitting something with a knife. In my opinion the wrench hit's unrealistically FAST, not too slow. (Not that I would ever want to change it, it's pretty well balanced gameplay wise).

3:18 "Other than that though, this game is basically a masterpiece". That off-handed comment after an entire video spent pointing out problems with the game. At no point did he mention a single positive. At this point, all a potential-new-player knows about the game is that it was made by Ken Levine, it's a horror game (which is debatable, it's far more of an immersive sim with pretty light horror elements), and that it's got some jank and "a wrench that hits too fast unlike the enemies" (and then he shows video of him swinging at a hybrid twice before it can get a swing in - why do hack fraud "reviewers" always show footage that contradicts their point?). No intelligent observer would walk away from this review thinking the game is good. They might find it a curious thing to try out, but he has done his best to make it look like a janky game with problems. Sure, it has it's problems, many of which are far, far more important than "the wrench hits too slowly", but of course he never mentioned them. He would rather nitpick issues of virtually no substance. Who cares if the player model sucks when you see it, what, twice in the actual game? Even if someone was to play it in coop on their first time through (BIG mistake), it's quite easy to get a higher quality player model off these exact forums. He obviously knows about modding because of his disgusting setup at the start of the video, and yet no mention of that at all. Maybe he only thinks he's allowed to use horrible looking mods when playing? I mean, if you only have a few minutes to review a game, why would you nitpick issues that are mostly irrelevant AND can be pretty easily fixed, rather than talking about any of the ACTUAL problems with the game or any of the positives? This would be like me making a 5 minute review of The Ultimate Doom, only to spend a large portion of time complaining about the "horrible DOS resolution", only to show the game running in high-resolution in a modern sourceport elsewhere in the review. It's beyond stupid.


This video reeks of the standard lazy, unresearched drivel that "content creators" shit out, usually on a daily basis. And when called out on it and how it's actively damaging to the things they actually review and makes the actual Youtube platform worse, they always inevitably retreat back to the "oh it's just a silly joke video! Don't take it too seriously" excuse. This sort of "content" does nothing but clog up Youtube and bury much more interesting stuff. It is, at worst, actively damaging, and at best, a nuisance (there you go Voodoo, I did the pun for you)

This isn't a review. It's one guys opinion. Opinions are okay, but this guys opinion seems particularly worthless.

There's a reason his channel has been around producing content for weeks and yet he only has 38 views. It's not a case of "Nobody has discovered your amazing content yet". Your content just sucks.

1/10 see me after class.