Goddamn Lookenpeepers!

[6703a8daa3b3eRocketMan]

A quick look into the origins of "blinkenlights" which, thanks to Kolya, became one of my new favourite words, reveals this masterfully written piece of poetry



    ACHTUNG!
    ALLES TURISTEN UND NONTEKNISCHEN LOOKENPEEPERS!
    DAS KOMPUTERMASCHINE IST NICHT FÜR DER GEFINGERPOKEN UND MITTENGRABEN! ODERWISE IST EASY TO SCHNAPPEN DER SPRINGENWERK, BLOWENFUSEN UND POPPENCORKEN MIT SPITZENSPARKEN.
    IST NICHT FÜR GEWERKEN BEI DUMMKOPFEN. DER RUBBERNECKEN SIGHTSEEREN KEEPEN DAS COTTONPICKEN HÄNDER IN DAS POCKETS MUSS.
    ZO RELAXEN UND WATSCHEN DER BLINKENLICHTEN.


Apparently this was some sort of poorly written warning on an old mainframe written by some old crotchety German, scolding redneck dumbasses (or anyone who isn't a computer engineer) and telling them not to touch anything cuz they'll blowen somethen the fuck up, instead telling them to chillax and watch the pretty blinky lights.

ATTENTION!
    ALL TOURIST AND NONTEKNIC LOOKENPEEPERS!
    THE COMPUTER MACHINE IS NOT FOR THE COMBINATIONS AND CENTERS! ORWISE IS EASY TO CREATE THE SPRINGWORK, BLOWENFUSES AND POPPENCORCES WITH TOP PARTS.
    IS NOT FOR TRADE IN STUMBERS. THE RUBBERNECKEN SIGHTSEEREN KEEPEN THE COTTONPICKEN HANDS IN THE POCKETS MUST.
    ZO RELAXING AND WATCHING THE FLASHING LIGHTS.


Thanks to this history lesson, my new favourite word is lookenpeeper and the author of that piece of shit warning is my hero.

[6703a8daa3de1Nameless Voice]

Uh, what did you do, put that into Google Translate?  It's mostly Germanised English with some actual German words thrown in.

More like:

ATTENTION:
All tourists and non-technical looker-peepers!
The computer-machine is not for finger-poking and mitten-grabbing!  Otherwise it's easy to snap the springwork, blow fuses and pop corks with sprays of sparks.
It's not for use by dummies.  The rubbernecking sightseers must keep their cotton-picking hands in their pockets.
So relax and watch the blinking lights.

[6703a8daa3fe1Kolya]

It's faux German, yeah. It was used in many IT rooms as a joke, including even German ones. In 2001/2002 German hacker group Chaos Computer Club created a playable light installation called Blinkenlights: http://blinkenlights.net/blinkenlights

[6703a8daa40f5RocketMan]

Multiplayer pong on the side of a building is extremely cool.  Maybe I'll attempt it with Christmas tree lights next year

[6703a8daa4288fox]

Well, rejoice! We live in the age of home automation and smart bulbs now. Maybe next level blinkenlights will envolve an abandoned spy satellite and an entire city district. Sky's the limit!

[6703a8daa43faZylonBane]

Looks like we've finally caught up to the 1950s.